Since when do we live in a society where simply showing up merits special recognition? Did you come to practice? Woot! Where you here for the game? Excellent! Did you stand on the field? Here’s your trophy! We hand out encouragement and recognition more than Trump doles out insults and it is having a detrimental impact on our children.
In life, everyone doesn’t get a trophy
It is no wonder that our children look up at us and expect us to just hand over whatever they ask for. I want better for my children. I want my children to feel the satisfaction of a job well done. I want them to see the results that come from hard work to meet a goal.
Yes, I even want them to taste disappointment and failure. Because that is life. In life, everyone doesn’t get a trophy just because they showed up. They don’t get a promotion at work because they came in on time.
If children are deprived of these fundamental aspects of human growth and development then we end up raising an age of children who feel at best, entitled, and at worst, content with mediocrity.
Too much of a good thing
Are rewards a good thing? Of course. But too much of a good thing is still too much. Praise begins to fall on deaf ears and even minimal effort is rewarded. I want more for my children. Sure, I want them to be happy but I also want them to be proud and strong.
I want them to feel satisfaction from within and a strength of character that only comes from trying your very best, whether you won or not. So yes, because I love my children I will stand and say “enough is enough!” I will get looks and probably be labeled “that mean mom.” But I’m okay with that. Just don’t you dare give my child a trophy.
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I think that there’s an age when it changes from a reward for being part if a team and actually earning it. For little ones simply showing up earns a trophy. But I think the even worst than a trophy is a game without keeping score. What is that teaching them?